Why Aren’t We Consistent?
- Web Developer
- Aug 23, 2023
- 5 min read
Why aren’t we consistent?
Ok, listen to this. Does this sound like you sometime?
You get inspired to get a healthier body, pick up a new course, sleep early or learn to play the guitar.
You get a new gym membership, pay the fees for enrolment, set an alarm to go to bed on time or get a teacher for guitar lessons.
For the first 10 days or so, you are completely driven by your motivation and you work on it every single day. Then you miss one day. It starts slow, but then you miss another. Before you know, the gym membership expires, you give up on the course and your guitar is gathering dust.
And the cycle starts all over again.
This is how most of us live our lives. I do too. This is demotivating, frustrating and downright painful. It seems like, despite knowing that consistency is the key to achieve our goals in life, the only thing we are consistent are at starting and then stopping things.
Don’t worry, we have hope. Which comes from understanding why we are failing and taking the right steps to overcome them.
The biggest reason is that we are focussing on the outcome instead of the process.
I am not saying outcomes are not important. But, more often than not, the outcome you are looking at doesn’t come without hard work and sacrifice over a long period of time. You put in the work for a week, don’t see the difference and slowly lose steam. You focus on the outcome instead of the growth you are experiencing in that process. What you need is a process in place that will take you step by step to your final goal.
Let’s define a plan.
First identify your desired outcome, let’s say it is I want to become fit
Then think of your “why”, why do you want to do it? Maybe it is be more healthy so you can function better in your personal and professional lives.
Set goals that will help you reach this outcome. Perhaps lose 10 kgs in 5 months
Now develop processes to reach these goals. Workout 30 mins 6 days a week.
Let’s look at the 4th step of the plan as this is where consistency comes into play. This is where most good intentions fall apart.
I am a fitness coach and I still struggle being more consistent with my own workout. I do atleast 3 times a week but my goal is 5. Here are some of the steps I take to be more consistent.
First of all, be present. It simply means being fully engaged in the task at hand. It means fighting our tendency to waste our energy over past or future things. None of which we can control. So, minimize distractions. I wake up way before the rest of the household does, don’t get distracted by my phone or internet and just focus on my routine.
Next, anticipate the dip. We wrongly believe that the path to our success is straightforward clear. Surprisingly, we believe that even now after we know better from our past experiences. What makes the dip even more challenging is that it hits after a period of initial success. This would decide if you are a quitter or are you going to plough through it. By the way, there is nothing wrong with quitting things you know aren’t the right fit for you. But, if you decide that you are going to stick around, think of your “why” again. Which will help you keep going.
Now notice how being successful makes you feel. You have to make a conscious decision to be consistent. Consistency is practice. You have to stop accepting excuses from yourself. Your brain can rationalize doing anything, good or bad. You have to override those thoughts, though. You can’t give them a chance to occupy any space in your mind.
Don’t ever rely on constant motivation and inspiration. Motivation is something you feel in the moment. It is not sustainable. The only thing that is sustainable is discipline. Discipline is a muscle. You have to use it every day. You have to practice it. You can’t give yourself a choice. You have to do it every day. No excuses!
Find what’s easy for you, for now. Pick something that is easy for you and that you can stick to. If it is easy, you will be consistent. Once you start doing it every day, you can slowly start challenging yourself with things that are more difficult.
Now, a great way to make sure you stick is to get an accountability partner. Find someone to keep you accountable. This can be in person or just someone that you call or text on the way to the gym. You don’t need to broadcast your intentions to the whole world to be accountable. Select one or two trusted friends to share your goal. Give them your timeline and ask them to hold you accountable. This can be a real game changer.
Be SMART. Set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relatable and time bound. Instead of saying I need to lose 20 kgs, say I will lose 2 kgs this month.
Don’t forget to forgive yourself and move on. This one is so important because we often beat ourselves up when we fail to follow through on our plan. Some resist setting goals and making plans to avoid this unpleasant experience altogether. But instead of avoiding this reality, understand that it’s simply part of the game. I would like to workout every day. I miss days here and there when life happens. I used to beat myself up over those missed days. Now I just say, “Ok, you’ve missed a day. Start again tomorrow.”
Coming to our final rule. Focus on more output, less input. My personal problem has always been that I consume a lot. I read a lot, watch a lot of educational videos, learn from social media or articles, consume, consume, consume. At some point, though, you need to start contributing. You can’t just keep taking. When you start to give something back, you start to feel like all that consuming you’ve been doing is actually worth something. You’re finally using it for good. You can stop feeling guilty about it. Instead, using it gives you confidence. Start sharing with others what you have learned from your curiosities.
I want you to remember that you’re not going to wake up tomorrow morning and suddenly be consistent in everything you do. Not everything is going to matter enough to you, where you’ll even want to be consistent. Sometimes people tell me that they aren’t consistent with their work and I remind them that maybe they’re not passionate about what they’re doing. You can’t force passion and of course, it’s going to be hard to stay consistent with something you couldn’t care less about.
Regardless, these tips should help get you started on your journey to being more consistent in life. In your habits. In your goals.
We’re not looking for perfection. If we hold ourselves up to that “perfect” standard, then we’re bound to fail and then we’ll get discouraged. Just understand that “being consistent” means moving forward and that you’re still on the path towards achieving your goals.
When you’re first starting out, you won’t be anywhere near where you want to be – and that’s okay. We all have to start somewhere. Consistency doesn’t mean you’ll never mess up, it means you won’t give up. Consistent habits will eventually become your lifestyle.
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